A Kind of Phut

An Open Letter to Somebody

Dear Somebody, That thing you did made us furious. You told us the thing was in our interest but it

Nobody is always asking me “Martin, how do you keep your body looking like that of a Greek god?” Well

I’m angry. In fact over the last few months I have lost over a hundred followers on Twitter because of

You know what? I really dislike people who compile lists of rules for Twitter, it really gets on my giddy

I begin my day by falling out of bed while squashing on my glutes with springs. Then I shower on

If you are a regular user of that ultimate time waster called ‘social media’, then you’ll know that everybody has

Wizzzzzzz! Did you hear that? It was 2013. Yep, as a middle aged human that’s what I hear as my

Cliff Richardson once sang “Christmas time, camel toe and wine.” I have no idea why he did that. Christmas changes